It’s the 4th of June 2010,  3.06 am and I am shaking like a leaf.

I am live on the Marketing With Alex coaching call with Alex Jeffreys and my fellow students as I type this blog post and I am not going to bed until I finish it…

Brocha Weiss brought up the subject of her cold mailing list, if she thinks her mailing list is cold, she has not seen mine!

I sent a message through the chat box to Alex, saying:

Alex this is really helping me as my list is cold cold cold right now, glad Brocha brought this up, have some great ideas on how to improve my emails now Sally :)

Alex replied:

get on phone now …

I actually felt sick when I read it, because I knew I would have to speak live again, which I hate to do.

I know I need to face these fears in order to become a success online but it’s really tough.

A few weeks of coaching does not transform you into a new person, all your old fears still remain.

Anyway I forced myself to put my hand up on the chat box and waited to speak to Alex Jeffreys.

This time I didn’t wait long, I think Alex knew he had to get me live on the call fast before I put my hand down again!

On the call I described how I disappeared from the Internet Marketing Scene for over a year after my eBay eBook business went bust when eBay banned digital downloads.

When I had my eBay ebook business I had built a mailing list of just under 10,000 subscribers.

I was earning around $2000-$4000 monthly from working online, so anyone that thinks it can’t be done is wrong, I am living proof  that it can.

But build a business on shaky foundations like I did and you will end up like me, with no business.

Back in my ebay selling days my mailing list was really responsive and warm.

Anytime I sent out an email I had a high open and click through rate but after a year away my list had dropped down to around 7,000 and my open and click through rates are way down to a pitiful 3%.

I guess that just proves the point that list size does not matter.

It’s how responsive your list is, and frankly mine isn’t.

The rule of a dollar every month for each subscriber means I should be earning $7000 a month and clearly I am making no where near that.

Over the past few weeks I have watched my fellow students post in the student forum their detailed plans mapping out their online career.

I have never made a post in that section of the forum because I don’t have a plan.

Then the other day I read a blog post on Darren’s blog, he asked everyone to post their perfect lifestyle.

My comment was:

Hey Darren, that’s so weird I ordered the 4 hr work week audio book from Amazon this morning!

My ideal life….hmmmm……

That’s a tough one, and I will be completely honest, right now I do not know what my perfect lifestyle would be.

I have never been a money orientated person, money is not the be all and end all for me, nor are material things.

I guess just to see my family happy and comfortable would be ideal for me.

I am aware I need to know where I want to be, before I can take the steps to get there, just need to figure out what I really really REALLY want.

Sally :) x

So you can see, I was wandering along with no real direction.

I was very aware I had no direction, I just didn’t know what to do about it.

Back to the call….

So I went on the coaching call and Alex asked me a few questions, and I told him how my list was cold and unresponsive and it was like he was reading my mind.

Alex told me to start all over again, I think I knew that’s what I needed to do, I just needed Alex to tell me I should do it.

That’s one reason I need a mentor I guess, because I need someone to tell me what to do right now.

I am not ashamed to admit I need help right now.

So I am starting afresh.

Like Alex told me it’s Sally Neill 2o10.

Not Sally from Sallys-Ebooks and the good old days of Ebay Ebook selling.

A fresh new start, with a new direction.

Clinging on to a successful past has done me more harm than good, I can finally see that.

I have been chasing the same success I had, but times have changed and I need to change with them in order to find new success online.

The days of selling on ebay taught me a lot and I am truly grateful for those experiences, I made a lot of money from that business and I helped lots of other people make money too.

Plus it took me on a path that let me meet Alex Jeffeys, and for that I shall be eternally grateful.

But it’s gone now and I need to let go of the past.

I need to look forward and not back.

So what does 2010 hold for me?

God only knows!

I honestly don’t know and it’s kinda scary.

But I am also relieved in a way.

The dead weight of my previous business has been lifted from round my neck.

It’s no longer holding me back, I AM FREE.

The coaching has been running for several weeks now and FINALLY I KNOW WHERE I AM HEADED.

Took me long enough, but I got there in the end.

2010 is going to be a magical year.

In fact it’s going to be a magical year not just for me, but for my fellow students too.

I can see so many students progressing at such a fast pace it’s frightening.

Everyone is feeding off each other.

Driving each other forward.

Willing each other to succeed.

I can honestly say I have never been a part of anything like this before.

It’s all new to me, it’s weird to actually trust people online again after seeing so much dishonesty in my journey online so far.

Last time around I done everything by myself.

This time I have a great coach and mentor in Alex Jeffreys and I have the best support anyone could ask for in the form of my fellow students.

It’s now 3.45am, I am tired, but happy and going to bed.

Tomorrow I can start to put my plans into motion…

Goodnight everyone, Sally

ps. Can I just say thank you to Janet Chandler and Mirko Gosch for the kind comments they made whilst I was speaking, was really sweet of you both, thank you so very much.

Filed under: My Alex Jeffreys Coaching

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